Can you start with your name and pronouns?

My name is Kaitlyn Warren. And my pronouns are she/her, I suppose.

Where is your hometown?

I was born in Los Angeles, near the Mid-City area. I lived in Pasadena for three years. I just moved to downtown Los Angeles, so I’m still figuring out the distance and how long it takes to go everywhere.

What did you enjoy about Mid-City or Pasade-na growing up?

Growing up in the Mid-City area, I enjoyed going on walks and exploring with friends, especially when I was younger. I stopped doing that in Pasadena, mainly because I moved there during quarantine, so I didn’t get to go out much. After quarantine, I started to explore more.

Could you describe your environment growing up?

Growing up in the Mid-City area, I had a more family- oriented life. Most of my family lives in the Mid-City area. And then, when I moved outside of the Mid-City area, I was more on my own. I mean, I had friends and things like that, but I didn’t connect as well [with them] when I moved, so I was more on my own.

Did you have any particular places where you would go?

When I was younger, I went to the roller skating rink a lot. I went to Moonlight Rollerway, which is in Glendale. I also did roller derby. I was learning trombone at the time, so I would go to music class or the roller rink.

What were your dreams or aspirations when you were younger?

When I was younger, I wanted to be a surgeon, but that dream went away during my sophomore year, which is when I really started struggling. Now, I want to get my cosmetol-ogy license and maybe pursue something in fashion, so I guess my dreams have kind of changed.

Could you share some things that you do for your future?

I’m focusing my life on what I want to do in the future. I used to work for a theme park, but now I work for a store that sells vintage fashion. I work there and plan on starting to sew again. I used to sew when I was younger, but I want to start sewing more and making more clothes.

Is there anything that you’re passionate about? What do you focus on right now?

Not really. I’m trying to just ... I don’t know. It’s taking me a while to gather my life and figure it out — not gather my life, but set myself on the right track. That’s what I’m in the middle of doing right now — just figuring out what I need in my life to get me where I need to go. I’m kind of in the in-between stage right now.

Can you please describe your first experience with substances?

My first experience with Percocets and laced fentanyl pills was maybe two years ago. At the time, I wasn’t living with my parents or any family; I was living on my own, which was not a good idea. I don’t know why I thought that was a good idea. But at the place where I was [living], I was surrounded by other people who were using [drugs]. After a while, like a few weeks living there, I decided, Yeah, I want to try it. I took maybe two lines, got high, and thought it was cool. I had been interested in using for a while, so the first time wasn’t that bad or anything like that. I guess there were some side effects that I didn’t like — sometimes it would make me hot or itchy.

Did anyone influence you?

No one, really. It wasn’t a peer-pressure situation. Where I lived, everybody said, ‘Well, if you want to try it, you can.’ They weren’t telling me, ‘Oh, you need to try it.’ They just said it was okay if I didn’t want to try it, but I could if I wanted to.

Did you have any knowledge about it before you used it?

I had a little knowledge because I had friends who were using, and my roommates were using, so I would see how they were when [using] it. I knew that the pills that I was taking were laced with fentanyl.

How did the effects compare to what you expected?

I didn’t really think that it would affect me that much, especially in the beginning because I wasn’t using much. At first, I was like, Oh, this is fine􀀁 It’s not really affecting me. I was still going to school. I was still going to work. My relationship with my parents was already messed up, but it wasn’t making anything worse. But then, in the end, I stopped going to school completely. I lost my job and where I was staying because I couldn’t pay rent.

Did you feel like you had someone during that time?

Somebody on my side? Not at the time. Mainly because my family didn’t know. They said that they saw the signs, but that was later on. But in the beginning, I didn’t really feel like I had anybody to talk to about it, especially because all my friends were using with me. So it wasn’t like people were like, ‘Oh, you shouldn’t be using that.’ I mean, I had people like that, but I didn’t talk to them about it.

When did you notice those red flags?

I honestly didn’t realize that there were red flags about my use until after I went to rehab. I went to rehab after I overdosed for the first time, and I didn’t even want to go to rehab at the time. I thought I didn’t need it and only went because my mom wanted me to.

Can you describe your dependence on these substances?

I guess my dependence on Percocets at first was that I would just do it when I got home. I wouldn’t think about it; it was more like me doing it with my friends, or if I had people over, we would just do it like that. But after a while, I started doing it at school, by myself at home, or just at random times throughout the day or in the morning. I just started using more frequently, and at times, I didn’t feel like I needed to be using, but it was more like a craving.

Did you ever get caught by the school or by your parents?

I never got caught by my school. I got caught by my mom maybe nine months into it because I came home high one time. And that was it for her; she said I couldn’t live with her anymore. That kind of messed up our relationship even more. That was the first time I got caught.

Can you describe what happened before and after your overdose?

The first time I overdosed was right before I went into rehab. It was around January — I think it was like January 6 or January 7 — when I overdosed. That day, I went to a friend’s house to pick up percs and got maybe seven. I went to another friend’s house, and we were just using all night and didn’t sleep much. Then, around the middle of the day, I went to my friend’s house, and we kept using. I don’t remember anything from when I overdosed. I only remem- ber waking up at my mom’s house. Maybe two or three days later. But I just remember honestly being scared, which was kind of weird for me because I’ve struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts since maybe sixth grade. And so it was crazy that, at the time when I was actually facing death, I didn’t want it to happen.

How did that affect you?

I’m not sure. I’m not really sure how my usage or my overdose affected me. Now, I’m just a little bit more careful with what I use. I don’t do downers anymore. Maybe I’ll do Molly every once in a while. But with downers and things that I know could bring me to overdose a little bit easier, I stay clear of them. I try not to be friends with people who use because I know, just for my own safety, I’m not sure that I would be able to say no if I were put in that situation.

Can you tell us about your experience in recovery treatment?

I went to the KYCC outpatient program when I got out of rehab in March of last year. I only went because my mom wanted somebody to check in on me and make sure that I wasn’t using still. I’ve grown to appreciate them and I look forward to the meetings I’m having now. I get excited when I talk to my counselor, and I’ve grown to bond with and trust them. Because there are certain things that I don’t feel comfortable talking about with the people in my life, it’s nice to have that outlet and a place to be.

At the KYCC outpatient program, I’ve had two counselors. I didn’t connect with my first counselor that much, but now I have a new counselor, Won. I feel very connected with him, and it’s easier to talk to him about things. I feel like he understands what I’m going through, and he doesn’t just see me as somebody who’s using. Like the other day, he told me he sees that I want to live; he sees that I want to experience things. He doesn’t just view me as some- body whose whole life is just using drugs and wanting to get high.

How did you feel when you first entered rehab?

When I first came to the KYCC outpatient program, I was kind of dreading it. When I first got here, I think I had three meetings a week, and I was just like, This is taking up too much of my time􀀁 It’s not necessary􀀁 It’s not something that I really need􀀁 But the longer I’ve stayed with the pro- gram — about a year now — I understand that I needed help, and I’m glad this is here for me to get help.

You said that your mom wanted you to go to rehab. What do you think about that now?

I’m honestly glad that my mom took the initiative and kind of forced me to go to rehab. Because at the time, I wasn’t living with her, and in my head, I was like, She doesn’t have any control over me􀀁 But I went to rehab to get her off my back so that I could come back and do whatever I wanted to do. But I am very thankful to my mom for putting me in rehab. I honestly don’t know where I would be right now if I didn’t go to rehab. Well, I don’t know; I probably would still be using or have overdosed again.

Can you tell us about your experience in rehab?

When I first came into the KYCC outpatient program, I had an intake where we just talked about my background, what I was using, and what my goals were. When I first got here, my goals were to cut back on my usage and also just be completely sober from fentanyl-laced pills. But now, because I’m sober, it gives me a place to get things off my chest and not have things weigh on my heart. Because the more that I stress out about things or the more that I feel down about certain things, the more that I know that I want to use. So it just gives me an opportunity to get things out.