My Dream Was Not the American Dream

Interview by Jadyn Kim

Where are you from?
I’m from Seosan-si, Chungcheongnam-do. 

Can you talk a little bit about your hometown?
My parents farmed in the countryside. I went to an elementary school in Korea until 6th grade, and then I immigrated to America with my parents. 

Do you work or live in Koreatown at the moment?
I live in Koreatown and work in downtown Los Angeles.

What do you think of Koreatown?
Koreatown is relatively crowded because the population is quite concentrated. When I first immigrated, I was simply happy to meet Koreans. There weren’t that many Koreans at that moment, and there was only one Korean mart. Now, it’s odd not to meet Koreans when I walk in K-Town. There are just so many Koreans.

Where is or was your favorite place in Koreatown?
In Koreatown, I usually go to the market a lot. The Korean parade is good too. My son is 13 years old, and he learned Taekwondo, Baduk (바둑 — the board game “Go”), and origami in a free program held by the Korean Cultural Center. I think the programs are really nice.

My friends also did that when they were younger. Please tell me about your experience immigrating to the United States.
I came here when I was 12, following my mom and dad. I had no choice.

Did you face any challenges?
At first, I cried a lot because I had lived in the countryside [in Korea] and didn't know any English at all. Not even [my] ABCs. It was really difficult for me to communicate because I couldn't understand a single word. But after a year, I got better and got used to it.

What do you think of the violence against Asians that is happening?
I believe the presence of racism for hundreds of years persists from our reluctant attitude to embrace different cultures. The key to this problem is to foster education for future generations. We need a lot of improvement in educating people about the importance of embracing diversity. 

What other things or skills have you learned through them? Or what resources have they offered you on the side?
I really, truly think it’s a lack of education. Hopefully, the younger generation will get a better education. I mean, racism has been going on for years and years and years. It’s been cut down little by little here and there, but education is key.

Have you ever encountered racism? 
Of course, how could I have not?

Can you describe a particular incident?
When I first felt it, I was in sixth grade. I went to Hoover Elementary School, and there were a lot of different cultures there. I was walking there one day, and Hispanic guys — they were with their girls and all that — they started whispering stuff. I was just a little girl; I didn’t even know anything. That was the first time I experienced racism. I think it was also a gender issue. They called me … what do you call Chinese people in Spanish? I forgot.

Chino?
China! China or something. They started calling me that, and I was like, “I’m not Chinese.” You know what I mean? I think if you look Asian, [people] will call you Chinese.

Did you have the American Dream? If you did, do you still believe in the American Dream?
I would not say “American Dream,” but I would say “my dream” because I did not immigrate here by choice. My parents came here, so I had no choice but to go with them. My parents’ dream was to give us a better education, but that was different from my dream. My dream was not the American Dream. So yes, I still believe in all my dreams.

As for the American Dream, do you think it is achievable or real? The fact that people from other countries come to America for a better life — do you think that’s something that those people will truly be able to achieve or have achieved?
It truly depends on the person. Happiness doesn’t come with wealth. It comes with a daily attitude. That’s my point of view.

I think your insight is super interesting. What do you think it means to become an American?
To become an American — that is pretty deep! I personally don’t feel much of a difference. But I see people with a green card or without papers, and I see them going through emotional stress. I mean, it’s just a piece of paper, right? If you have a piece of paper, it doesn’t mean much to you. But for people who don’t have it, it means a lot because they don’t get certain benefits and stuff. I think it’s pretty critical for those people.

Tell me about your job in the garment industry. What was your experience like in that job?
It’s quite a bit of work. I enjoy it. I do screen printing on t-shirts — on garments — and I do graphic arts. I enjoy it a lot. I had a fine arts background, and it’s kind of related to fine arts, so I think I found a pretty good job.

When did you start working in the garment industry?
I was in San Francisco working on my M.F.A., and at the time, I had a boyfriend who was a freelance designer for a screenprinting company. He kind of trained me, and he couldn’t do freelance work anymore, so he introduced me [to his boss]. The guy already knew I was going to school. [My former boyfriend] didn’t have a job to do all the time. He wasn’t a full-time graphic designer; he was either at work or freelancing. He basically offered that I do the graphics so I could learn. I got lucky. That’s how I ended up doing screen printing as a graphic designer.

That’s very interesting. Can you take me through a typical day of work? 
By 8 a.m., I’m at work. I respond to all my emails, and then I work on graphics. I give my workers instructions on what to do, like what Pantone color, if something needs to be a bit heavier, lighter, vintage-looking, or whatever instructions I need to give them. If they produce one piece, I take a picture and send it to my customer for approval. If they approve it, we proceed. If they ask me to fix stuff, I fix it and send it again. When I'm done, I invoice them, and they come and pick it up. That's usually how the whole day goes.

Wow, that sounds like a lot of work!
It can be hectic, but it's okay. You get used to it.

I heard that because of the pandemic, you switched to making personal protective equipment. What was that like for you? Did you have any feelings about that?
Well, at the very beginning of last year, toward the end of March, we shut down. I was stuck at home for two weeks just talking to people. I talked to one of my girlfriends who was a graphic artist at a manufacturer downtown, and I was like, “Oh, I’m so bored,” and she goes, ‘We're going to do some masks. Can you help us out?’ I was like, “Sure!” I designed massive amounts of masks for a good six or seven months. We did mask after mask after mask. It was quite an experience, the pandemic, something I never would have even imagined. I guess for you, too, right? [The pandemic] was quite something for everybody.

Can you describe your community in the garment industry for me? What ethnicities are the people around you? What kinds of jobs do people have? Do you work in a supportive environment? Are the people friendly? What’s it like?
I mean, there are all kinds of people. Sometimes, people are asking for school uniforms and know exactly what they want. Some people want t-shirts but have no idea what they're doing, so I have to explain what the whole process is. But I work with manufacturers. They know what they’re doing. They even have a graphic designer, so they actually email me the graphic and give me the placements. Those people are pretty cool.

People are all connected in that way. I have a lot of friends working as manufacturers, and you start working with them, talking to them, and talking about your kids and their kids. You just become a little bit close to one another. If they find a better job and go to another manufacturer, then they call me up like, ‘Hey, we need help.’ There's more friendship in the connection.

That’s really cool. What ethnicities are the people around you usually? What is it like working with people from different cultures?
I love this [question]. I have a Black American [client]. He’s a special trainer who trains other people in the physical therapy kind of deal. He comes, and he has his own line, so he sells it online to customers. I have, oh my lord, so many different friends. You name it, everybody. I do work with Koreans a little bit, but not much.

Not much — so mostly other ethnicities? 
I tend to stay away from Korean people [laughs].

Why is it that you tend to stay away from Korean people? Did you have a bad experience? 
I’m so negative [laughs]. I did. Truly, I did. 

Would it be okay to ask you what that experience was?
It was a very bad experience. It was when I first opened my store. Earlier in my career, I was working as a graphic designer with other apparel manufacturer graphic designers who said they would help me when I started my business. I got orders from them. However, they were not the ones who were going to pay me, and I did the work. For a proper contract, if I make seven products, then I should receive payment for those seven items. Because I did not have a lot of money when I started my business, I had to ask for my balance. The apparel owner was, of course, Korean. The graphic designer I was connected with told the owner about the issue. I was only connected to the designer and did not know the owner.

The designer told the owner that I had to receive my balance and that the owner needed to write me a check. However, the owner said he understood and then did not give me a check. I waited. I had to wait over 15 to 20 minutes. Eventually, I got the check and went to deposit it at the bank, only to realize it did not have a signature. I remembered the Korean phrase “One feels different from when they need to go to the restroom and from when they leave the restroom.” Over the phone, they would nearly beg that they needed a product by a deadline, but when I went to receive my payment, they were saying something different. That’s why from then on, I thought I never wanted to work with Korean people again. Really, after that experience, I never worked with Korean people.

He was very two-sided; he just switched up on you as soon as the work was done.
Yes, I hated it. I don’t know. There’s something about how Koreans work. They say they’ll do it, and they later say different things. I don’t know what they’re talking about. I think it’s from the old Korean generation and Korean culture in their blood.

For a long time, I have had one good person — my close vendor and manufacturer. She’s Korean, but she’s the coolest person on Earth. She’s different. I’m very picky with Korean people. My parents keep on asking, ‘How’s the jobber market going?’ and I say, “I don't know! I don’t work with jobber people.”

Do you have any questions for me?
Do you know what you want to major in when you go to college?

I think I want to major in English. That was kind of a problem with my family. We fought about it for a long time. In Korean culture, if you’re not going to major in math or science, people are like, “What? How are you going to make money?”

My best girlfriend since I was 12 years old, she majored in English, and she’s a high school principal right now. She makes good money and has good benefits. I like to say, “Don’t bother.” Your parents — they have to be my age or younger.

My boy is only 13. I tell him to do whatever he likes. I’ll support him all the way. Tell your parents that you have to do what you’re passionate about. You’re going to be doing it for the rest of your life, so you can’t do something you dislike for the rest of your life. No, that’s not right. Do an English major and write a book about it!

Did you major in art? I actually wanted to major in art, but I never said that because that would be insane for me.
My parents were completely against it. We had a huge fight about it. They said I'd go hungry if I went with the fine arts. But I wanted to do what I wanted to. I have a pretty strong character. Push through and do what you want. Why do something that you don’t want to do? Even if you do something you want to do, there’s not much time left.

They always tell me to do what I enjoy as a hobby.
That would be miserable! I support you. Good choice. I’m completely against your parents. Look at how old I am and how open-minded I am.