Lana Yu

Please tell me your name, age, and where you were born? 

My name is Lana Yu. I was born on March 14, 1952, in Daegu, South Korea. I immigrated to L.A. in 1976. I am the youngest of three siblings: one brother and two sisters. My father died before I immigrated. I immigrated with my mother.

What were your dreams, hopes, or a dream job as a child? 

When I was young, I was a great singer. So maybe it was my dream to become a singer. I was born during the war. During the Korean War, my parents all fled to Daegu. So I was born there and came back to Seoul when I was 5 years old. At that time, we didn’t have much to eat. Everything was very difficult.

I never told my parents what my dream was when I was young. Honestly, I never even had a doll to play with. But I liked singing. I was good at it. Whenever guests came over, I’d step right up to sing for them and show off my voice. That was my way of greeting them. Maybe I wanted to be a singer. 

What is your ethnicity?

I immigrated when I was 23 years old. I’ve always lived as a Korean. 

What did you major in?

I didn’t go to college, so I didn’t have a major. But I always sang and did a lot of other things. I got married here [in the United States] at 25. So I’ve had a lot of experiences. I worked at a bank and at the Los Angeles City Hall. I also wanted to run a business, so I opened a women’s clothing store. What else? I also ran a dry cleaners and a wig shop. I did a lot of other things that many Korean immigrants liked to do. I eventually retired after working as a dealer at a Las Vegas casino for 23 years. That’s quite a lot, isn’t it?

Can you tell us about your time as a Las Vegas casino dealer? 

Now the job’s all about money. I met so many people. You meet dozens, if not nearly 100, people a day, every day. So this person is going to tip this person well, and this person won’t. I found out right away. I used to play games like blackjack (21) and roulette. I worked at the Silverton Casino.

Can you tell us about the difficulties and the good things that came along with the job? 

I’ll talk about the hard part first. The hard part is that the dealer’s job is technical. It’s always the same task. You don’t develop anything new. So it’s very boring. And all the cigarette smoke! I had a hard time because of that. You have to check in at work all the time and cannot even be three minutes late. There are three shifts. I absolutely could not be late so that other people could go home.

Things like that are very … wow. You can’t make mistakes in that kind of job. After all, it’s deeply related to money. So those things were a little hard, and it was something I hated. The other good thing was that I met a lot of people— people from all over the world. It was interesting and fun to meet so many people. Time flies when you talk to them [casino patrons]. 

How long have you been living in Koreatown? 

I immigrated to Koreatown and lived [here in the States] for 17 years before moving to Las Vegas. I lived there and came back 5 years ago after retiring. 

Do you think Koreatown is a good place to live? 

It is definitely a good place to live. There are great markets and also so many restaurants. Oh, it’s so nice to eat in those places! Korean markets are such outstanding places to shop. On a bigger scale, the weather in Los Angeles and California — I didn’t know it was this good. But once I moved to another state and came back, this place is like heaven. I love it. After we retire, the benefits for us are much better than in other states, so I’m very satisfied and happy. 

What are some important memories that you remember in Koreatown? 

In Koreatown, you can build meaningful relationships with Korean people. I love that we can have our own culture. Since there are so many Koreans, I can meet a lot of good people. I think it’s very exciting and a good thing. 

Where is your favorite place in Koreatown?

My favorite place in Koreatown is the Galleria Market. I like to go to the food court and eat. I like going to the market and shopping. 

You came to America when you were very young, 23 years old, and you got married when you were 25. We want to go deeper into that. How was it when you first came? What did you learn? What was the hardest part?

The most difficult part was the language barrier. But I consider myself really lucky because both my sisters and my mother came with me. We immigrated together. So I didn’t feel very lonely because I had a lot of family. I could always eat Korean food at home, and I went to church together with them. It was nice then.

The good thing about America was that, back then, Korea was different from what it is now. It was hard to get a job, and I didn’t study any major like I said before. But there were so many opportunities in America. There were many things I could do. I also liked that I was working and competing with other races as a Korean. 

Koreatown is a multicultural space located in one of the most diverse cities in the world. Do you think Koreatown is inclusive for the LGBTQIA+ community? If so, why do you feel that way? 

LGBTQ is a very welcoming word for me. My son came out about 15 years ago. He is now 40 years old. You wonder what my reaction was, right? How did I react back then? At first, I was surprised. I wondered why my son had such a hard time telling me. I thought it was very hard for LGBTQ people, hard because there was a lot of discrimination and unfairness. So I was very upset about why my son should have such a hard life.

Did I raise him wrong? There were so, so many questions. Why, why, why? What my son was saying was, ‘I thought my mother would already know.’ I was shocked when I heard that because I thought my children and son were very close. I thought I was a very cool mom. But to say that I didn’t know him — I was very embarrassed that, as a mom, I couldn’t see my son for who he truly was. I’m a little teary just thinking about it. I was ashamed and so sorry.

There was a couple who always came when I worked at the casino. They were a gay couple. They were really cool, tipped well, gentle, humble, and I loved them. They were young – they were around my son’s age now. My son’s name is Eli. I had some difficulties when Eli came out, of course, but I wondered, Won’t he become like that wonderful couple I met? That kind of opened my heart up a little.

The other thing is, no matter what the condition was, he was my son, and I loved him. I thought that in the end, we’re a family. There must be a reason why I became his mother. So it hasn’t been that hard. Frankly, I thought about what I could do for him from now on. I decided to step up and think about how I can help build a world where my son can live fairly, without being ignored or mistreated.

How did the rest of your family and the people around you react? 

When Eli first came out — I have a daughter who is five years older than him. Her name is Lane, and she had already learned that he was gay about five years prior. I was the last person Eli came out to. It must have been hard, coming out to me. My mother passed away at 90. So I was like, Oh, thank God. I didn’t have to tell her the tough news.

I couldn’t tell my friends or the church people for a long time, mainly because I couldn’t accept it at first as a parent. But I soon realized that I at least needed to tell my two older sisters. So I did that. I have eight nephews. I started telling each and every one of them the news. Some nephews already knew about it, and others struggled to accept it. After hearing the news, one of my sisters said, ‘Nothing has changed because he is still my nephew.’ The other sister brought up the Bible and couldn’t accept his coming out.

It wasn’t so hard to tell this news to non-Koreans. They were very open. But for Koreans, I couldn’t easily open up to them. I always had a conflict within myself about whether I should tell them. But one day, I realized that I was being very cowardly because my son, whom I love, is wonderful, truly, truly upright, and a child who is doing so well and is happy. Why should I be ashamed of him just for being gay? I suddenly had that thought and realized I was so wrong.

I didn’t have a hard time after that. I told my friends at church that my son had come out. Now there were people who heard the news and just said nothing. Others said it was okay and patted me on the back, adding that every kid has the right to be happy. And there were people who said, “How did that happen?” The reactions were all different. The truth is, it doesn’t matter what they think. No matter what they think, all I care about are my son’s thoughts and those of the people around us who love us. There’s no reason for me to care about other people’s thoughts. From then on, I started looking for people who were on the same page as me, people I could relate to and become friends with. 

When did you join PFLAG? How did you make up your mind about it? Can you tell us more about it? 

Honestly, when somebody told me about PFLAG, I asked what it was. Then, I heard it stood for “Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.” It hasn’t been long since I learned about them and started working with others at PFLAG. Some time ago, there was a documentary movie called “Coming to You” from Korea. When all my family members went to see that movie, I met a lot of parents who worked at PFLAG, so I signed up with them and received a lot of information.